The Right Mind?......

"Luke 8:35 They came to Jesus and found the man from whom the demons had departed sitting at the feet of Jesus, clothed and in his right mind"

One day Jesus is going to give us fresh,new,mind. Not a mind filled with Imbalances.
I'm tired of trying to keep it together. I'm weak, I have a brain disorder, I try avoiding long conversations because I might not have tacked or I might say somthing wrong. Only Jesus can help me I know that, but sometimes I get bummed out or depressed about our Chemical Disorder.

My familiy laughs at me when I say or do outrages things. There right, it is funny, I laugh about it too. Sometimes being bipolar is confusing. For me I struggle with finding the line where things are normal or are they.
That's when I need to check into reality. I've looked at some of the online bipolar support groups but they don't have the Power of God and all who He is to comfort us as Jesus said He would In the last days. John 16:7

I have to confess I don't really find much help from's Jesus alone helps us find that normal spot where you feel comfortable.
Jesus is not only our Savior but through tHe Holy Spirit He is also our comforter.
I love it that Jesus can heal the man at Gadarene and see Him in his right mind. Awesome... Now i'm not going to say that Jesus will heal you. Most of us may suffer from our Chemical Brain Disorder for the rest of our lives. That means maitenance needs to take place.... We Bipolars especially need more of Gods Word flowing through our Minds. I'm sorry but I believe that Gods Word has the power to mend us and heal our Dysfunctional brains.

Heb 4:12 For the Word of God is living and powerful and sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing even to the dividing apart of soul and spirit, and of the joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart.

One of the things my counselor tells me is to focus on the present. That's kind a hard to do when you have spent most of your life trying to dodge reality. I can become a Chamelian any day.

What's going on with you? Tell me if I'm off base.

I found an incredibly cool song for us by David Crowder Click Here....

If you would like some godly councel or would like to share something you can email me

Doubleminded / Bipolar

Being Bipolar can be very confusing at times. You may find yourself being doubleminded... Some would call this Compartmentalization. Two lifestyles. I was Pastoring Churches while I led a completely different life while I was alone.

Being Bipolar is a difficult thing. Somtimes the meds don't work. I recently had a med that didn't work, it was called (saraquel) It actually made me Manic. It kept me asleep at night which was great. But the side affects made me tremble and shake irradically.
Sometimes we can fool people into thinking we are ok, when were just faking ourselves out. And sometimes when our meds are all working and we feel fine, we stop taking our meds, and honestly no meds lead to another episode... and who knows what were capable of...Crazy!

When I say "doubleminded" I mean (this includes me) that the chemical Imbalance in our brains keep us from making logical decisions.
We don't operate at the same speed as those around us. You've heard of racing thoughts. Sometimes I can juggle three or more decisions and or conversations, at one time. Some call this Schizophrenic. By the time the thought is on the table I've already dealt with it and passed on to the next thing. That's why it's hard for me to write this. Having a Doubleminded or Compartmentalized thoughts has made me a good Camellian. I can be whatever I want.

This is about the time I check in with my wife to ask her if I'm being normal. She would know, Iv'e been Bipolar for 30 yrs. I just came from my Psychiatrists and my Counselor, and they tell me to stay in the moment, the present. And I hate that because I like Mania. Sobriety sucks.

It's pretty sad when your crazy and your the only one that dosen't know it. I believe God is gracious and blesses our decisions and actions. It's amazing that God still uses us in others lives while we may be just blowing it. He is gracious and slow to anger. His mercies are new every morning. It's funny how some people will run from the loving hands of our Savior."like the prodigal son"
I pray that you find yourself ministering to a fellow Bipolar. We all need encourgement.

I admit some of this may seem random but my heart is for those that aren't in control of their thoughts, Doubleminded. Remember the only difference between being bipolar and Schizophrenic is "Moods are bipolar" and "Thoughts are Schizophrenic"

How are your thoughts? Are you in control(flesh) or is (walking in the Spirit) controling your life? Don't let life catch you off guard. Stay where you know your safe.

If you need some godly advice or would like to share, you can E-mail me here

God Bless... and I mean it.

As Bipolar Christians we should know what's happening to us !

Knowledge about Bipolar 1 and Bipolar 2 is essential.

It just so happens that my Wife knows more about my symptoms than the many Professionals we have gone to for help.

The more we know about the Chemical Imbalance in our brains the stronger and more knowledgeable you will be. Try some of the links we have provided on left. Or the link here....Web Md Great Information! If you would like to share or get some godly advice you cam E-Mail me....

A Description of Bipolar / Schizophrenia and Depression

Id'e like to provide my perseptions on Depression and Mania...


- A diminished interest or pleasure in almost all activities
- weight loss/gain against popular demand the drug I've been taking (Clozapin) I have not gained weight
- Insomnia or hypersomnia (over-sleeping)I can't sleep, sometimes for days
- Agitation or retardation of thinking, memory, etc. I have lost my Memory
- Fatigue or loss of energy
- Impaired concentration and indecisiveness, or
- Recurring thoughts of death or attemps of suicide. I attepted Suicide 3 times
- Pain — including headaches, body aches and abdominal pain
- Low energy and excessive tiredness (including claims of being “chronically fatigued”)
- Reduced capacity for pleasure or enjoyment
- Moods such as apathy, irritability, anxiety or sadness
- Sexual complaints or problems with sexual functioning or desire
- Reactive depressions can have some or all of the above, but they are usually not as debilitating. Most people with reactive depression

You can continue your normal work and home duties. With the more seriously depressed people, people can become totally incapable of fulfilling normal lifes responsibilities.

- Mania and a depression mixed.
- Consist of Irratable or elevated mood. During which time the person is excessively cheerful, talkative, sociable, grandiose, energetice, hypersexual, and often needs little or no sleep. During all this a person may feel Depressed.
- The person may be speaking so fast that the listener may not be able to keep up.
- One ma be so Grandiose that he believes he's the presedent or he may change his clothing to a more flamboyant style.
- He or She behavior may be dangerous or inappropriate
- Buying sprees and foolish investments

Bipolar and Schizophrenia can cross the lines easily, I'ts easy to differentiate the two.... Bipolar is mood symptoms and Schizophrenia is thoughts. Thats why when I say I cross over. I am Bipolar but I also have racing thoughts and so I am also Schizophrenic, as I'm sure many of you are.
I dont like being called Schizophrenic... I actually hate it.

I hope this speaks to some of you!
This really opened my eyes to my Illness...
I liked this so much I had to post it on my facebook page

Tell me how you feel about what I posted.

I'm Going to be Transparent

I had a horrible time at my old Psychiatrists meeting, she intimidated me and scared me. Thinking i was going to be admited in to a mental factility..I was manic and she made me worse. It wasn't until i got in the car with my wife that i felt better. Thank God for my wife she has totally looked out for my best interested. God Has looked out for me again... Thank you Jesus.

I'm going to be transparent now and share some of my feelinigs...

Hurts- From when I was a child being molested, multiple times,from neighbor kids, baby siters. And even older at 23 by my moms friend while i watched her house for her.

Fears- Of negative thoughts. Fears of being anxious, fears of being Bipolar and Manic. I fear I don't like being Manic.

Doubts- Sometimes I doubt Gods Word. I don't trust Gods Word. Sometimes I don't think Gods promises are for me. I put my will in place of Gods will and allow my will to precede over Gods.

Guilt- I feel guilty when I'm Manic. I feel it's my fault, I feel overwhelmed by my guilty feelings and my anxiouus thoughts.

Lust- My lustful thoughts have pretty much disappeared. It has been so long since since I have seen anything lustful.. Porn Or Hardcore... that I don't even have a feeling for it. Somethings that would seem harmful to others don't even effect me.

Memories- Memories of my childhood still affect me I could name off many memories of my moms bad memories, Crazy fun times but were so bad. We broke the law on a daily basis. Lord remove these thoughts & memories from me.

Worries- I have worries again, about being manic, I have worries about how I'm going to be mellow or vanillia or manic, depressed. When I get depressed my day gets focused on self and not on God. I hate that and I get worried. God save me from my self.

Judging- Sometimes I judge my kids, I need Gods help with this this. It is ungodly and it hurts me. Not them. God please help me to not hurt them and my self.

Self Pity- I remember a time when My wife and I didn't have any money and we were suffering. Lord what do we do. I yelled at God and still no response. There was nothing I could do. I felt self Pity. I did all I could Humanly do. All I could do was lay down my will and wait on God to do whatever He wanted. Boy did He provide, More than I could ever have desired. But it wasn't until I said Ok not my will but your will.

Bitterness- I am bitter about being Bipolar & I know I mention this alot but I am. Bipolar rules my life. I am scared about being Manic. I am worried about being depressed. I love feeling Vanilla. If I could just be vanilla life would be great! But bitt- erness kreeps into my life when leest expected and i never address it, I leave it there to dwell in my heart/mind.

Unforgiveness- I sometimes have unforgivness towards my family when they don't understand my feelings or my Manina or my Depression. I'm not always Mello or Vanilla. I wish they would understand. Forgive Me for having these feelings.

Criticalness- Wow, I am critical about everything. Self is first and this makes me envy and critical about everything. sometimes I amcritical about how people dress, the way people dress, the way people act, the way people talk, God help me to not be so critical. This is definately my greatest downfall. Praise God He can live through me.

Give God all our Fears, Hurts, Disapointments, Anxieties, Confusions, Insicurities.

Php 2:5 For let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus

Pro 23:7 for as he thinks in his heart, so is he; Eat and drink, he says to you, but his heart is not with you.

Gal 2:20 I have been crucified with Christ, and I live; yet no longer I, but Christ lives in me. And that life I now live in the flesh, I live by faith toward the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself on my behalf.

If you would like some godly counsel or just want to share, you can E-Mail me here...