Doubleminded / Bipolar

Being Bipolar can be very confusing at times. You may find yourself being doubleminded... Some would call this Compartmentalization. Two lifestyles. I was Pastoring Churches while I led a completely different life while I was alone.

Being Bipolar is a difficult thing. Somtimes the meds don't work. I recently had a med that didn't work, it was called (saraquel) It actually made me Manic. It kept me asleep at night which was great. But the side affects made me tremble and shake irradically.
Sometimes we can fool people into thinking we are ok, when were just faking ourselves out. And sometimes when our meds are all working and we feel fine, we stop taking our meds, and honestly no meds lead to another episode... and who knows what were capable of...Crazy!

When I say "doubleminded" I mean (this includes me) that the chemical Imbalance in our brains keep us from making logical decisions.
We don't operate at the same speed as those around us. You've heard of racing thoughts. Sometimes I can juggle three or more decisions and or conversations, at one time. Some call this Schizophrenic. By the time the thought is on the table I've already dealt with it and passed on to the next thing. That's why it's hard for me to write this. Having a Doubleminded or Compartmentalized thoughts has made me a good Camellian. I can be whatever I want.

This is about the time I check in with my wife to ask her if I'm being normal. She would know, Iv'e been Bipolar for 30 yrs. I just came from my Psychiatrists and my Counselor, and they tell me to stay in the moment, the present. And I hate that because I like Mania. Sobriety sucks.

It's pretty sad when your crazy and your the only one that dosen't know it. I believe God is gracious and blesses our decisions and actions. It's amazing that God still uses us in others lives while we may be just blowing it. He is gracious and slow to anger. His mercies are new every morning. It's funny how some people will run from the loving hands of our Savior."like the prodigal son"
I pray that you find yourself ministering to a fellow Bipolar. We all need encourgement.

I admit some of this may seem random but my heart is for those that aren't in control of their thoughts, Doubleminded. Remember the only difference between being bipolar and Schizophrenic is "Moods are bipolar" and "Thoughts are Schizophrenic"

How are your thoughts? Are you in control(flesh) or is (walking in the Spirit) controling your life? Don't let life catch you off guard. Stay where you know your safe.

If you need some godly advice or would like to share, you can E-mail me here Dave@christian-internet.com

God Bless... and I mean it.
Dave...