I've been bipolar for most of my life and just lately I have begun to accept my
Bipolarism. For years I have hated it, not understood why I have to have it. After all I have been Pastoring Calvary Chapels for 28 yrs, why me. How did i do that? But just lately my wife told me I need to accept my BP and no longer reject what God is doing in my life. Rejecting my BP is rejecting Gods plan for my life.
By the way I know i tell most of you to keep taking your Meds. Well A little secret, I hate my Meds too, especially the side effects.
By the way I know i tell most of you to keep taking your Meds. Well A little secret, I hate my Meds too, especially the side effects.
Romans 5:5 says... Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us.
Not knowing which way is up or down because your bipolar is frustrating. But knowing Jesus makes sense. I have a Bipolar website where we get alot of counseling emails. I could go into details but the most frustrating thing we confront is mature believers claiming they don't believe there saved anymore. That's tough. and it seems Satan wins.
5....Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us.
Being bipolar can leave you lost, upside down, and not knowing what reality is and right when you feel like you know whats going on your kids correct you, how embarrassing.
That's why when you read verses like this, it really melts in your mouth.
I don't know what your faced with but I would like to say " trust the Lord with the details of your life" Everything should be filtered through the wisdom of Gods Word. Allow Him to have the preeminence and control over your life.
We offer Safe and Godly Counsel to those seeking prayer and help. Go to our website for Prayer and Counseling Form
More about Dave's Destructive Bipolar life can be found here... Bipolar Christian Fellowship This is our Bipolar Homepage.
Kept by His Grace and Mercy....
Pastor Dave Hallahan
2 comments:
I was diagnosed with BP before I bacame a Christian and since becoming a Christian have had no where near the same manic/deppressed swings, although still have times of hightend energy and low energy. I think that this may have somthing to do with spiritual warfare and the fact we are living in extemely evil day's and those who often have bipolar are very connected with God. I rely on Him daily and when I don't my life's ups and downs seem much larger than they need to be. We are made stronger in faith through weekness and humility. I don't have all the answers but I know that I have been off meds for more than five years and the more I press into God during difficult times the less I feel may need meds. It hasn't been perfect and I have had some low points in terms of my behaviour, however who hasn't. I hope to follow your blog and that God will help us through His love to help hold eachother up. God Bless you and your openess to share your journey. We have the great hope that we will not be stuck in these frail bodies for eternity but rather will become as our Lord and Saviour is.
Thank you for this wonderful site, David, and I pray you can reach many more bipolar sufferers for Christ. I was diagnosed bp when I was a senior in College, and the episode I experienced disrupted my education and I graduated a year late because of it. I don't know if any of your members have suffered identity confusion as I did, but during my first couple episodes I was greatly deluded into believing I actually was God. Not just the Father but the whole trinity, father, son and holy ghost. People around me found me to be greatly decieved but in my heart I believed it, and it gave me great feelings of power and omnipotence. It wasn't until several years later that I actually repented of being God (and even the Anti-Christ, whom I once believed I was), and Satan prevented me from feeling forgiven. Rather, I felt I was damned to spend eternity in hell, and the harder I tried to repent, the more my mind was filled with disgusting things and horrible impulses that I am ashamed of to this day. Healing was a very gradual process for me, and it seemed every day I was struggling for the control over my own mind and soul, which felt as though they had been hijacked by Satan. Even to this day I still have episodes, about once or twice a year, and it usually starts when I deprive myself of sleep and decide to quit taking my medications. I was 9 months free of any manic or hypomanic episodes, and I truly believed I was scott free and Christ had healed me, but I was wrong. The last episode that occurred was only about a month and a half ago, and I believed the rapture was about to take place. I was driving very recklessly in my car, and scraped up another car in the process. I was taken to jail with charges of hit and run as well as assault with a deadly weapon (being my car). I'm so sick of dealing with these crazy episodes of mine. I still, from time to time, believe I am Elijah the Prophet, sent to the world to prepare it for the 2nd coming of Jesus Christ. I wanted to start my own bipolar Christian group, but for now I will be a part of this blog, and hopefully more people will get involved and will share their testimonies. The problem with mania is that it is so deceitful. You believe you practically have the power of God in your hand and there is nothing anyone can do to prevent you from accomplishing your purposes. Someday I long to be a missionary, but I have to make sure that I will never get manic on a missionary expedition to China, India, and Africa, where I feel God has called me to be a light. I don't want to be a prophet any more, I don't wish to be God or Elijah. I just want to be myself- Christopher David Moyer, bearer of Christ, so long as I don't get a big head and start thinking I can move mountains with my faith. To some, that kind of faith can be very envigorating, but to me, it is dangerous, and I begin to traipse into magical thinking, believing I can bring sight to the bling, hearing to the deaf, and even raise people from the dead. Maybe these things are possible, but whenever I think I can do them, I get a big head, and soon I fall crashing to the ground, realizing I have not been annointed by the Father in this way, and hoping I can just make a difference for Christ in this godless world. Bless you for your website and I pray other bipolar and mentally ill Christians will discover it. Peace.
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